Benedict cries to communicate and being nipple dependent

I have started the routine if the baby cries. Find out:-

1. Did he have his feed? Was it adequate? I check with Mommy and if she is extremely tired or sore, we get the expressed milk.
2. Did we forget to burp him gently? He seems to burp on his own when he is seated up or his head is placed gently on my shoulder while seated in my arms.
3. Did he wet his pants or defecate? He gets cleaned or washed, dried, powdered and dressed up. Seem to adjust well without any fuss.
4. Did he get adequate sleep? He gets annoyed if he doesn't get his sleep (up to 16 hours/day).
5. Did I forget to give him a cosy napkin or blanket wrap?
6. Did he get a little rock or pat to soothe his feelings? I carry the fella around the house and pat his bottom lightly. He doesn't fuss as I don't 'smell' like Mommy.
7. Is he having an upset or bloated stomach or constipated? There are some medication available from the doctor.
8. Talk to him - Nothing beats a little confidence and tender loving care.


It's been a week since we've noted that little Benedict (3 weeks old) has taken a liking for the nipple. He seems to breastfeed and then continue to tug onto the nipple while dozing off. If he's taken off the nipple he gets moody and cries until he gets the nipple. I don't think we would start the pacifier yet. When he goes to the baby-sitter, she would probably use it quite a lot. Nothing beats Mommy's tender loving care.

Find out more at these links:-
What to do when your newborn cries
How much milk to feed
Pacifier use shorten breastfeeding duration

*Further studies are required before a recommendation could be made about use of pacifiers in newborns.

Oooo! She communicates with us now!

I am getting excited as little Christa (2 yrs) has started communicating with us rather than giving us the regular "Yes!" or "No!" answers. We get less squealing or screaming nowadays. And she seems much happier now that she understands that we are not part of a conspiracy to take away her happiness or steal her favourite toy or boltster.

She has finally opened up to us! Let's see whether she becomes as talkative as her sister, Clarissa (4 yrs). Hmmm! Now that she starts to defend herself with words, Clarissa will not have her scream at her but instead she would have to deal with her words. Is that going to be good new or not?

Anyway, it's good to know that all the DHA, AA and Taurine in the milk is doing some good to her. Hmmm... it's probably the time we spend talking to her. It's probably the story time!

A politician in the making

Every weekday Mommy or me sends Clarissa to her Montessori just 5 minutes away from our condominium. After work, we take turns to pick her up from 'school' so that she could get home and have an early shower. I asked Clarissa, "Who would you like to pick you up from school? Daddy or Mommy?". "Daddy!", she answered. When Mommy asked her the same question, she answered, "Mommy!". A grin would usually follow and she would get a hug from us. When she sees her grandparents, she would go, "I love Yeh-yeh! I love mah-mah!". She would also give them a hug.

She still holds the record as the only person at home who can continue talking on a particular topic non-stop until we give in to her demands. She is still the darling of the house as compared to her little sister.

Now,... big sister takes over!

Clarissa has assumed her position as 'discipline-master' now that we don't spank her anymore. She seem to think that she has the right to comment on everything that we do. I can now understand why her little sister is not at all pleased!

"Mommy, you must eat the bread brust. You must not waste food!". "Daddy, you should hold the basket properly. If not, my water bottle will fall out!". "Christa! You sit down! If not, you will fall down!".

Now we really have to watch what we do so as to provide the right message. Now, how would it be 20 years down the road?

I am a big girl already.....

Mommy and I were "trained" by parents who had easy access to the tiny rattan cane (0.3cm) diameter in case the children were found to be an absolute nuisance. My sister and I were lucky as we did not have it tough like my elder brother. All we did most of the time was run and hide, and at times we left my brother to deal with the discpline session with my parents. We got away quite a few times and only we knew.

Now that I have my own children, I thought it would be similar. The older child, Clarissa (4 yrs) has had a bigger share of scolding, spanking and caning (if it get's out of hand). My parents look at us in disbelief when we discipline our children. It seemed to have worked out well eventually.

Mommy had a chat with Clarissa last week and struck a deal with her. She would not be caned or spanked if she would behave herself. Clarissa gestured to the cane and said, "I am a big girl already and I don't want the cane". I suppose it was a deal that we could not reject ourselves as she promised to be good. I knew that there would be times that she would stretch our patience a wee bit more than she should but we needed to be better at dealing with them.

Now that Clarissa behaves much better she has taken our role to discipline her little sister, Christa. I suppose she just imitates what she sees. Mommy and I need to revamp our strategy with our children. I could hear them say,"...Mommy, Daddy, reason with me ... and we will do what is best for everyone".

As children, they would always have fun. Sometimes to the extent that we do not understand. But it's all part of growing up and learning to live with the adults like Mommy and I.

Getting to know Christa

I have always spent time talking to Clarissa (4 yrs) after returning home from work. We seemed to enjoy talking and she would tell me what happened at Montessori. Sometimes I let her suggest our 'nite-out' plan for the family.

Christa (2 yrs) is more attached to Mommy (and the baby-sitter). I guess it would be a challenge trying to get close to her as she does throw temper tantrums quite regularly. I started introducing some favourite tidbits to get her to feel at ease. My involvement in preparing her night and morning milk bottle seemed to have helped. She gets me to carry her onto the toilet seat to show that she is as clever as her sister. With bigger roles, I seem to have gotten to know her better.

When I started her bedtime story individual sessions, that seemed to have hit it off well. I give a different story to Christa so that she can identify with the characters and words. At least, she doesn't 'shoo' me away when I sit on her bed! (She expresses territorial rights over everything she touches!!!). She however dislikes me playing with her cousins. Maybe I too belong to her!

I didn't do....

I heard the sound of thumping on glass from the bedroom. When I came out I was surprised to find Christa talking to the fish and slapping away at the 5 foot Aquarium last week. She was quick to hide her hands behind her back claming innocence. "I didn't do!", she said with a grin on her face.

Clarissa used to say, "I accidentally,...." and now Christa has introduced another phrase to escape further enquiry.

I reprimanded Christa and told her that she should not hit the glass as the fish would get scared and may jump out (and bite her!). But I think I was more afraid that she may use something harder to try and "Break Glass when bored".

A piece of Kraft Cheese to start the day!

Since Mommy had to wake up earlier to go to work nowadays, I was helping out to prepare Christa's morning Growing-up milk just before she to woke up. Soon after drinking the milk, she assisted me (by lifting her buttocks off the mattress) when I changed her ScoobeDry diapers. She previously found it difficult to get up until I asked her the magic question. "Christa, do you want some Cheese?". She immediately opened her eyes, rolled off her bottom and pushed herself up and says, "I want Cheese! I want!".

I suppose giving her her daily dose of Calcium and milk through the cheese is a good idea. Better still if it also gets the children out of bed in a cheerful mood! We have avoided giving her sweat and other fatty foods and have been encouraging her to take more fruits and vegetables(see Daily Estimated Calories and Recommended Servings for Grains, Fruits, Vegetables, and Milk/Dairy by Age and Gender)

Off she went with me to the refrigerator and she patiently watched me peel off the plastic wrapper. Within 30 seconds, the whole slice was gone! She reached out to take my hand as we proceeded to the baby-sitter's home.

Story telling at bedtime

I usually tell bedtime stories to Clarissa since she was 2 years old. Those stories were related to anything or any character that she could relate to (e.g. flowers, butterflies, cats, dogs, oranges, apples, Mr Bean, Penguins from Surf's Up). These were evident in providing a foundation for introducing good character and a sense of responsibility and kindness in Clarissa. She seem to look forward to these sessions and then go to sleep easily after the stories.

The art of story-telling is just like communicating to children in the manner that they would like to hear their stories. It takes lots of practice and simple grammar with lot's of humour to spice it up.

Try it regularly and it should make your relationship with your child more meaningful.

Surf's Up!

Clarissa (almost 4 yrs) was very excited when I told her we were going for a movie about Penguins called Surf's Up. She quickly finished her milk, changed into clean clothes and put on her Barbie shoes. When we reached Cathay Cineleisure, she couldn't wait for me to purchase the tickets. Since we still had time, we decided to 'grab' something to eat. She protested that she didn't want to eat but soon we saw the model of the evil Darth Maul in the shop, she decided to be quiet (in case her yelling woke up the Jedi). Christa (almost 2 yrs)just kept herself busy talking to Mommy in her 'modified English'.

The movie was made as a running commentary on Cody's (Cody is the main cartoon character)life starting from scratch to glory. He was inspired by Big Z (the greatest penguin surfer of all times) who visited his island when he was little. By some chance, Big Z gave him a shell pendant with Big Z's initials when he pushed himself in front of the welcome crowd. Since then Cody's dream was to be like his icon, Big Z. Big Z was believed to have been killed during a fierce competition against Tank (the big bully who was in love with his surfing trophies).

Clarissa and Christa's attention span got till that point and they started munching on the Sausage cuts. Mommy and I thought they were great seated at both ends of our 4 seats and would not quarrel. Soon, we found out that Christa was only interested in the sausages, but Clarissa wanted to watch the movie. We kept the sausages with Clarissa as we knew that she would be a good steward of it.





......... Several seasons passed and Cody was 17 yrs old when a Talent scout, Mikey (a confused bird who wandered off from another place) was searching for new skilled surfers across the Antartica on a whale! Despite not getting his attention initially, Cody managed to out-manouvre the whale and surfed his way to catch Mikey's attention.

Thrilled with the prospects of being a competitor in the Big Z Memorial Surf Off, Cody shuffled across the beach meeting new friends. He met Chicken Joe (the one and only Chicken who surfs!) and Lani (the lifeguard lady Penguin). He comes to the rescue ot Chicken Joe and ends up challenging Tank for a surf.

Christa was restless and wanted Clarissa to give her more sausages. Clarissa relented and I was given the responsibility to pass the sausage on to Christa.

As they paddled away from the beach a gigantic wave developed, Tank kept his balance and swerved into the 'tunnel' but Cody fell rapidly to the bottom of the sea. Despite several attempts to resurface, he just could not fight the current. He was knocked-out cold when repeated waves plunged him into the corals. Lani came to the rescue and revived him but he went into unconsciousness again.

Mommy prepared Christa her milk and then took Clarissa out for a toilet-break. Christa was horrified as she thought that Mommy was abandoning her in the theatre. Despite my attempts to pacify her, everything failed. Conscious of the protests from other viewers, I quickly took Christa out of the hall and waited for Mommy and Clarissa to return. We returned to the cinema hall but Mommy decided to bring both the children to the lobby as they were very restless. I stayed on and watched (guilty leaving Mommy to take care of the girls) the movie.

Lani was really thoughtful as she dragged Cody into the jungle to get some treatment from her uncle (a plump, unshaven, untidy huge Penguin). As it turned out, this uncle was knowledgeable in treating penguin ailments. He pulled out a long spike (from a sea urchin) from the foot Cody and he was much better. After several days, Cody fully recovered. He somehow figured out that Lani's uncle was Big Z. He had a misunderstanding with Big Z over the making of his surfboard and leaves.

Lani met Cody and managed to convince him to return to Big Z after showing him the lava tunnels and a waterfall. He then carried a wooden log and worked on another surfboard. This time he put his heart and soul to his work. Upon completing the surfboard, Big Z jumped on the surfboard to test it. The bewildered Cody then started training on land and water to surf like a champ with his mentor, Big Z.

Cody joins the Big Z Memorial Surf Off and finally make it to the top 3 finalist i.e. Cody, Chicken Joe and the arrogant Tank. During the final surf, Tank goes after Chicken Joe and ..... . Guys! Don't want to spoil it for you. Go and watch it yourself!

I came out after watching the movie and brought everyone home after buying supper. Thought I would never be caught watching an animated movie alone with the children and wife sitting in the lobby. It was an entertaining movie with great graphics but I wished the storyline was more interesting and the characters appealed more to my two girls.

I accidentally ..... pushed Christa!

Clarissa (3+yrs) and Christa (1+yrs)came back after a visit to Grandad and Grandma's place while I was having shower. They were happily laughing away when I heard Clarissa saying, "Don't!". Soon after that, Christa came out rushing from the bedroom wailing with her whole face as red as a beetroot. Upon seeing that I was busy changing she rushed to the kitchen looking for Mommy.

I picked up the pace and asked Clarissa what had happened. "I accidentally...!", she exclaimed. "Tell me the truth, Clarissa!", I added. "Christa pulled my hair! Then I pushed her and she fell down!". She didn't mention that her sister fell off the bed onto the floor.


I was pleased that she told the truth and did not use the excuse, "accidentally". Clarissa got off with a reprimand but Christa found solace in the arms of Mommy. I rewarded both with raspberry jelly marshmallow.

Uncle has a fat and a shaky bum-bum!

Ooops!!! It was just after shaking the hands of a church friend where Clarissa made a startling remark, "Uncle has a fat and shaky bum-bum!". To my horror she mentioned it as he was just leaving. It's often that she does a running commentary of what people wear and how they look in their outfit. I asked her to repeat what she said about the uncle and she said nothing. We're planning to explain to her that she was to be careful what she says as not to hurt others.

Favourite Play Area and Crocs

Clarissa and Christa love to go to Anakku The Curve for one purpose i.e. to visit the play area. They have a cartoon video session while the children play on the slide, toy house and toy puzzle. At times, (if they don't fight over the toys) they would get to interact with the other children and parents.

I watch over them when they are there and Mommy has a look at the interesting clothing and baby accessories on display. Finally, the girls would keep the toys but we still have to figure out how to get the girls out of the play area. We almost always tell them 'the toys are nicer over the other side'!

Mommy tells me that we have to go shopping again for shoes this weekend. It's often difficult to get shoes that are safe, comfortable and lasting. Looks like it's time to go shopping for Crocs. They look really attractive and would look good on my girls anytime. Hmmm... no wonder why they also have a premium price tag!

So, it looks like we're gonna be heading to The Curve and IKANO Power Centre again this weekend!

Mommy....! Mommy.....!

I thought I was her favourite. Christa always looks for me during her night feeds since I've taken up the responsibility with mommy going into her 2nd Trimester pregnancy. But this morning she was whimpering out, "Mommy...! Mommy...!" as I carried her to her baby sitter. She didn't see mommy as mommy had to go off to work earlier this morning.

I thought, "Nevermind... maybe she misses Mommy". At least she's not the 'politician' Clarissa has turned out to be. She has learnt the trade to get into the good books of Grandfather and Grandmother with all the terms of endearment e.g. "I love you very much! I like Yeh-yeh and Mah-mah!". Her loyalty could be bought with Cadburys and M and M's. "Hmmm... maybe mine too?!"

Will I ever be her favourite? Does it matter?

Laptop attack!

I left my HP laptop unattended for 5 minutes last week and Christa (1+ yrs) was quick to plug out my Data cable while Clarissa (3+ yrs) went on to test all the keys on the keyboard. When I came back I found out that the laptop was off (someone pressed the blue on/off switch) and Christa was finishing off the touches of removing the plastic connector of the Data cable. (Since then the data cable comes loose on its own and I had it replaced for RM10)

Clarissa was quick to run away but insisted she didnt do anything. "Daddy, see Christa pulled out the wire!", she said pointing at Christa who held the wire in her hands. Christa immediately threw the data cable away thinking that I may reprimand her. She ran up to me and hugged me tightly with a grin on her face.

Talent at writing new lyrics?

Clarissa (3+ yrs) learnt a new Nursery song called "Mr Sun" last week. I joined her after changing the lyrics to "Mr Bean" knowing that she liked the hilarious character. The whole family had a great time watching the movie, "Mr Bean's Holiday" during the preview screening.

The lyrics went like this:-

"Mr Bean, Bean! Funny Mr Bean. Drink up your cup of tea!"
"Mr Bean, Bean! Funny Mr Bean. Come out and play with me!"

Within a few minutes we were all singing the same song. She then tried to get her little sister involved by changing the lyrics,...

"Mr Bean, Bean! Funny Mr Bean. Come out and play with Christa!"
"Mr Bean, Bean! Funny Mr Bean. Come out and play with Christa!"

Everyone she knows had since been incorporated into her nursery rhymes and any songs she hears. Amongst her favourites are.....

"God is good! All the time!"
Changed to "Daddy's good! All the time!"

Will she go on to be a lyricist? Or will she just use this to get other's attention?

Come in and play with me....!

I thought that it was a friendly and lasting invitation when Clarissa (3+ yrs) invited Christa (1+ yrs) to join her in her cot. The giggles and play lasted for 10 minutes and then started the tugging for pillows and soft toys. Soon, they were pushing, kicking and scratching. It finally ended when Christa landed her teeth on Clarissa's leg. Clarissa started screaming and then clenched Christa's hair intending to pull everything off! Christa loosened her jaw and joined in the wailing.

"Daddy! Can't you separate both of them instead of watching!!!" I always thought that they would appreciate each other more if they spent more time together. Looks like this time I had to be the 'cot' referee to stop the girl fight! "Ok, girls! Stop fighting!", I said. Mommy watched in disbelief as I lifted out the younger sister from the cot for a breather.

Round 2, anyone?

Playing a game in pitch darkness!

Fancy getting caught in a power failure at an apartment and someone switched off the generator for the lift. We came out of our car and saw the lights go off suddenly. Not a comforting thought to have to carry the 2 girls 10 floors up the stairs (and mommy is pregnant too!). Thinking that it would be a short blackout, we all went to the guard house to enquire further.

Nobody had any clue of what was happening. "Shucks!" At a distance I could see the flikering lights from the candles of a 'mamak' (a slang for indian muslims) shop. "Let's go for 'teh-tarik' (special brewed tea, drained from a height to oxygenate the tea to add a spectacular flavour to it)", I said. Both Clarissa and Christa was elated. Feeling a bit adventurous, I decided to get Clarissa a tender young coconut. Clarissa was thrilled having a coconut to herself. It's the type of feeling when she received her first soft toy. An hour later, the generators came on for the lifts and corridor lights. By the time we went up, Christa was already fast asleep.

"Daddy, I want air-cond!", Clarissa demanded. "Daddy, I am very hot and sweating. I want air-cond!", she reiterated. I tried as much as I could to explain to her about the blackout but nothing worked.

"Let's play a game!", I said. "You hold the torch and shine into the aquarium tank while daddy pour in the fish (newly bought at East Aqua, IKANO)". In my mind, I was thinking whether I would get to resuscitate the fish on time as they were already gasping for air.

Clarissa felt in control. She had the only torch and took charge (but the light was shining all over the living room except in the tank!). She was a gem and she helped mommy and I unpack, clean-up and even held the light while we took turns in the shower. I managed to keep the fishes in two 4 foot aquariums by giving periodical air supply via the aerator tubes. We had an old cardboard folder each to fan the girls as it was already late. Clarissa soon fell asleep at 11.30pm.

At 1.00am, the electricity supply resumed to my relief.

Missing me much? Or just needing more attention.

I was away for 1 day for a relative's funeral and came back quite late last night. Clarissa was already asleep. THe next morning I sent her to her Montessori and to my surprise she would not walk. I carried her from her cot into her car seat. On arrival, I carried her and placed her in the Montessori. Once her feet touched the tiled floor, she broke out in tears and wanted to follow me to work.

Hmm...! I was just away for a day. Mommy was away on work assignment too! Maybe that's why she didn't feel like going to school. I felt bad and stayed a little while longer at the gate saying good-bye. But had to go finally.

I will spend more time with them, I thought. When? Just when?

A promise is a promise!

Came home with Clarissa (3+yrs) this evening and told her we were going out for a walk after her shower and dinner. Saw a twinkle in her eye as there was a large play area at IKEA and Hytex Town at IKANO Power Centre. "Oopps!", I thought. I was tired but I was committed.

We quickly went up the apartment and took our shower but I was dead tired and took a nap as soon as mommy came home. An hour passed and I awoke at 7.30pm only to find Clarissa engrossed with Barney and Friends (DVD). We had dinner and soon mommy came back with Christa (1+yrs).

I was ready to get tucked in bed but then Clarissa said, "Daddy, when can we go for a walk?". Mommy looked at me. I returned a guilty look and told her I told her I would take Clarissa out. "But it's already 9pm!", mommy said. I then suggested that we got the children dressed and we'll just take a walk by the pool at the apartment.

We got out of the lift and proceeded to the poolside and Clarissa reminded me, "Daddy, I want to go for a walk and walk at IKANO!". I looked at mommy for some moral support. Out came a solution. "We'll go for Ais-kacang (crushed ice with brown syrup and other delicious dressing)!", mommy said. We got all excited and took a 5 minute drive to the hawker centre in Section 17, Petaling Jaya. With the bowl of Ais-kacang in front of her, I asked Clarissa, "Do you still want to go for a walk?". "No, daddy, I want my Ais-kacang!", she replied with the same twinkle in her eye. She then quietly asked mommy whether we were still going for a walk after the supper.