What matters most?

The past few weeks has been a trying time for both Mommy and I. I suppose the situation worsened since I took time off to cover hockey training. I was not terribly disturbed by the political situation in the country but the concern was more for the potential trouble as the result of racial sentiments raised by politicians and the utter nonsense we read in the media. With all the confusion, I decided to quit my job and start looking for another which allows a more flexible timing with less stringent business requirements.

Despite all that our children didn't notice much and continued with their daily routine, playing, screaming, laughing hysterically and crying to get some attention. Even Benedict (almost 1 year old) has learnt to campaign for attention. He refuses to let go once you have carried him in your arms.

I suppose everyone feels insecure sometimes and may end up doing things which make them look foolish. We are lucky as the children are a great source of strength and courage. It makes us look beyond the challenges and press on with greater wisdom and perseverance. After all the arguments, I feel as foolish as some politicians. I hope our relationship will come out stronger after brushing off the dirt from our shoulders.

What do children do when parents quarrel?

Every loving couple would have diferences in opinion and occasionally this could lead to heated arguments and quarrels. This is something that you never tell anyone else except close friends. What I've learnt over the past few days is that adults never seem to bother much about what happens to their children when they are busy feeling hurt and hurting your spouse. Sometimes, we 'quarrel' in a nice way where it is done away from the children but Clarissa reads body language very well and would often ask, "Why, Daddy?".

What do children do?
1. They feel fearful at the next thing which could happen.
2. They wonder how come adults also behave like kids
3. They are confused as adults are supposed to be composed
4. They make sure their mischief doesn't cause further trouble
5. They occasionally get involved with the person whom they emphatise with (through their gut feeling)

What do adults do?
1. They feel the hurt longer and insist on protecting their 'rights'
2. They wonder what happened to the person whom they married
3. They start to believe what was advised by their friends and parents against the marriage previously (if any). Their worst fears have unfolded and become true?
4. They forget that their spouse was never perfect in the first place
5. They compare the good that they have done and the bad that they had received
6. They forget that the children are around and start to behave like kids too

Parenting is not easy but staying together as parents may also pose as a challenge.